People say “Everything is fair in love and war”, but the truth is that the extremism of anything is bad. Be it love, or be it war.
Everything we do should have some limits because if there are no limits, everything would be so messy or disorganized.
We live in a society, and we have to follow certain rules and if we cross those limits, it will ultimately create chaos.
The acts that result in illegal activities and the lethal acts, couldn’t be justified under the proverb, “Everything is fair in love and war”.
Balance in life is extremely important, and we all actually accept it. When it comes to us, we all agree. It’s now the modern era, and we need to grow up from this mindset.
The proverb is quite old, so we can’t say with certainty what the author actually meant or what he was trying to say, but the meaning that the world has deduced from the proverb is quite scary.
Before, diving into the proverb more, let’s just see what it actually means and who said that.
Everything is fair in love and war meaning
Let’s start with the literal meaning. “Everything is fair in love and war” is used to describe a certain situation where people do not follow the usual rules of behavior and do things that are normally considered unfair.
That means, people in love and war are not bound by rules of fair play, and you may not have to obey the rules of reasonable behavior.
Eventually, that allows you to be deceitful to fulfill your objectives in the situation of love and war. The highly charged situations allow you to opt for any method of achieving your goals that is acceptable.
By some means, you can understand this as everything is ok between people who love each other and at times of war.
Also, you can use it synonymously with “Do whatever it takes”. This proverb is actually used to justify cheating.
Simply, it expresses the idea of any strategy is accepted in war, and the affairs of the heart are not some competition or contest with rules, so you can do whatever you want to.
Who said everything is fair in love and war?
Who comes to your mind when you listen, “Everything is fair in love and war”? Nobody, because many of us, don’t even know who said that and what is the origin.
So, here we are with the origin. It is said by “John Lyly”, as it was found in his romantic novel “Euphues, the Anatomy of Wyt, 1578”.
John Lyly is an English writer, dramatist, courtier, and parliamentarian, and is known for his amazing plays.
Although, the modern-day proverb existed in other forms before it took on the wording we now use.
Even in John’s Euphes, it exists as:
“Anye impietie may lawfully be committed in love, which is lawlesse.”
Then, after the end of the Tudor Era, an Irish translator, Thomas Shelton published an English version of Cervantes’ Don Quixote, 1620, and here you can find a similar version,
“Love and warre are all one [Spanish – el amor y la guerra son vna misma cosa]: and as in warre it is lawful to use sleights and stratagems to overcome the enemy: So in amorous strifes and competencies, Impostures and juggling tricks are held for good, to attaine to the wished end.”
Then, almost a century later, we again find another version of the proverb, that we can count as the closest in the present-day form.
“The Artful Husband”, 1717, the comic play by the English lawyer and playwright William Taverner, has the same proverb,
“All advantages are fair in Love and War.”
Finally, in 1789 we get the proverb in its modern-day form, in the novel “The Relapse, or Myrtle Bank”,
“Tho’ this was a confounded lie, my friend, ‘all is fair in love and war’.”
But, all these forms don’t take away the fact that it’s said by “John Lyly” first.
Everything is fair in love and war quotes:
We hear Everything is fair in love and war, in many forms and many quotes. Here are some of the popular quotes related to love and war.
Love and war always go together. They are the peaks of human emotion! Evil and good, beauty and ugliness.
-Rick Riordan
This beautiful quote explains the relationship between love and war and human emotions.
Love and war, it seemed, worked by the same rules. One had to hurry before the fires flared out.
-Robin Oliveira
Indeed, they work by the same rules, and according to the proverb, they don’t follow any rules making every action fair and just.
All is fair in love and war and parliamentary procedures.
-Michael Foot
Does it depict our modern-day world? Yes, it does. People have seriously taken a simple proverb to next level.
Love and war are the same things and the stratagems and policy are as allowable in the one as in another.
-Miguel de Cervantes
If we look at the proverb closely, it is basically establishing a relationship between the two- love and war. And, you all will agree to it.
Love and war don’t follow any rules. We usually say, “love is blind”, and when you are in a war, everything is blind as well.
In the situations like war, people and countries overlook the fact of justness and are doing what is in their favor.
No strategy and policy can stop a person in love and neither in war. And, to explain this idea, we have enough examples.
“I know all’s fair in love and war but when you go off and try to be by yourself and it ends up on the front page of the press it’s frightening, knowing your life is under such scrutiny.“
-Michael Hutchence
Whether we accept it or not, we have glorified the idea of doing anything in the war and doing anything in love.
Be it the wars like World War 1 or 2, or the romantic novels like “Romeo and Juliet”, all have told us the stories that if done in this era, can be criminalized easily.
Everything is Fair in Love and War Essay
The proverb originated in the sixteenth century but is still popular. With the uncertainty of what the author actually meant, everyone has their own opinions regarding it.
People say, there are only two areas, where you can be forgiven, and that are love and war.
You can kill someone on the battleground, and it will be more acceptable in society rather than if you kill someone outside it.
The mass killing on the battleground doesn’t come under the heading of murder. Similarly, if you steal someone’s lover, it will be acceptable to some extent by some people.
Although the opinions may vary on this topic. But, if you say you want them for money it will be wrong both morally and ethically.
So, definitely love and war has more room for acceptance than the other matters in the world.
But, love and war are indeed two different things, almost like two poles, two opposites, and two extremes as well.
But, when it comes to results, they can be linked up. One involves, care and personal attachment while the latter involves brute force and destruction.
And the tempting factors of both things are success and happiness, and to achieve that people are often selfish.
People can become so much focused and obsessed with their cause that they forget about their moral values and may even engage in malpractice to achieve their goals.
But, we often forget that these malpractices are all against the law which is made to secure order and stability in the society.
So, anyone can’t fully support the “Lyly’s” Claim, because that would mean we are supporting all the illegal activities making humans no less than animals.
But, on the other hand, if we see the positive aspects, we see humanity here. Many people are ready to give their lives to their loved ones, their organs, or their most of the wealth, only because they love them.
People go extent to love for their motherland, and people are willing to give away their wealth and their precious things, in the cases of soldiers, their lives for their motherland.
A man can lie to his wife regarding how beautiful she is looking, and he can boast it and we can say, “Everything is fair in love”, it will be acceptable.
Although it’s unfair to women, if the love is true, unfair deeds are often negligible and ignored. That’s the power of true love.
Love is a very caring and beautiful sentiment and attributing it to “Anything is right in love” is wrong.
By doing wrong activities and actions in the name of love and then justifying it as, ”Everything is fair” only brings disgrace to this beautiful emotion.
When love becomes the most disheartening part of our lives, our mind and heart confuse us to do wrongdoings and that can be harmful to other lives or someone’s own lives.
While on the other hand, war is now the most hated and discouraging part of the modern world. War only brings destruction and takes away the precious lives of innocents.
Hence, you cannot justify war to any extent. The world needs more love and more humanity because we have already lost many lives in the name of war.
The countries can solve their disputes on the table, rather than taking them to the battlefield, because it will only bring destruction to both the countries.
So, isn’t it better to negotiate before taking the disputes on the combat zone?
Is everything really fair in love and war?
When we raised the question that everything is really fair in love and war, we have examples supporting our argument.
No, not everything is fair in love and war. You cannot kill someone, you cannot cheat, you can not do illegal activities, and definitely, you can not cross the line of basic ethics and morality.
Because, if everything is fair in love and war, we should start appreciating acid attackers, we should start appreciating the wars which are taking away the lives of innocents, even children. We have to draw the line somewhere.
The majority of the acid attacks are attributed to ‘one sided-love”, is it ok? No, it’s not! You cannot harm anyone in the name of love.
The murders can be associated with a “lover’s form of protection”, but no this cannot be legalized, because if that’s the case, we will only drown ourselves in the sea of blood and heartlessness.
Love is a gentle and pure emotion, and attributing it with acid attacks, cheating and bloodshed take away the charm.
If you are not in favor of acid attacks, if you are not in favor of taking the lives of people because of love, you cannot support the statement “Everything is fair in love and war”.
Similarly, killing innocent lives of people and children in war brings no good. It only takes away the human lives which are indeed very precious and are not meant to be given this way.
Wars like world wars killed millions of people. And the independence wars took away the lives of many.
How much more bloodshed we need to realize those lives were important. War is definitely the most heartless thing and cannot be considered humanly.
It’s an inhumane act and you can’t allow killing innocent children, women, or civilians in the genocides, because oh yes! Everything is fair in war.
Anything extreme is dangerous, even love, so creating a balance and setting limits is very important.
Because, if it isn’t done we will enter a world that will be painful for us to live or even see, an inhumane world, with no humanity and justifications of cheatings and law and order.
Law and order are meant for us, and they create the balance that we need in life.
What is the relationship between love and war?
The main relationship between love and war is success and happiness.
Success in both love and war can lead to the creation of happiness, relationship, devotion, liberty, and freedom, etc.
All of which can shape a person’s lifestyle, and in some cases that’s how our society functions. We see love and war as complete opposites.
They actually have a direct relationship by sharing similar qualities to have one not able to exist without the other.
Love can provoke war and can lead to some harmful consequences like war and lethal acts. Success in worldly matters, leads the two countries to war, risking the lives of millions.
While success in love, can lead to acid attacks and murder, “if one doesn’t belong to me, how can it belong to other” mindset? These tempting powers and emotions directly link the two.
If love is not there, war will automatically be not there. War is the extreme emotion of hate, but it wouldn’t exist if we would be unable to feel love.
We all know bad is stronger than good, and the emotion of hate and war can be dominating rather than the one of peace and love.
Why is everything fair in love and war?
The main concept behind the proverb is, that there are some areas in our lives where we cannot blame anyone working their best to achieve their own interests and objectives.
Simply, cheating for getting your own right is not considered cheating and this proverb explain exactly that.
When in love, everything goes by without any alignment and rules, and when in war, everything goes by again without rules and policies, and that makes people think that everything is fair in love and war.
To enforce the rules in the conditions of war is generally not possible. And, in love, when a man is competing for one woman, the result is so great that the fair rules are often neglected.
Obviously, we cannot justify that but when it comes to us, and our own benefits are concerned, we all justify that in some way or other.
The pain caused by rejection in love hurts the ego and the person rejected can do harmful things that are not even wanted.
So people often believe that getting that love by any means is acceptable, rather than doing certain things after rejection.
When in war you are so much biased towards certain things that you eventually believe that you are doing the right thing abandoning the rules of fairness, and just dealings.
People lose their capabilities of judging things in situations of war and love. The anger overpowers our sense of understanding things better.
The sense of understanding what is right or not, and in some cases the sense of kindness and humanity.
War overpowers humanity, and the modern-day world compares love to war because the process of gaining love by any means is the crux for the person involved.
courtesy: google images
References:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/all%27s%20fair%20in%20love%20and%20war
https://www.theidioms.com/all-is-fair-in-love-and-war/
https://medium.com/@saniaasad51/they-say-everything-is-fair-in-love-and-war-4a7e495224c8
https://www.languagecouncils.sg/goodenglish/resources/idioms/alls-fair-in-love-and-war
https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/alls-fair-in-love-and-war.html
https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/love-and-war.html
https://www.quotemaster.org/Love+And+War
https://www.antiessays.com/free-essays/Every-Thing-Is-Fair-In-Love-74508.html
https://www.bartleby.com/essay/All-Is-Fair-in-Love-and-War-FKQP6CSX73U4Y
https://www.studymode.com/essays/Every-Thing-Is-Fair-In-Love-1447920.html
https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2016/02/love-and-war-similar/462375/
